I would like to take an opportunity to talk about reassignment surgery.

Those familiar with my blog will be well be aware of my thoughts on the transsing of children and the notion of changing sex so such thoughts are outside what I would like to talk about.

Instead I want to talk openly and honestly about reassignment surgery. Can I say from the outset I have no regrets about surgery whatsoever and I had an amazing surgeon who still supports me.

As a sufferer of sex dysmorphia I detested my male anatomy. It represented a part of me that I couldnt live with and caused significant damage to my mental health. I couldn’t bear to touch it or even look at it. Even with extensive psychological and psychiatric input I was simply unable to accept this as a part of me. That made me a suitable candidate for surgery.

Having gone through the surgery it was a difficult and painful process and it disturbs me deeply at how casually the modern ideology views the process. This is MAJOR SURGERY and recovery is long. Being mentally prepared was absolutely essential and I knew exactly what I was getting in to. Even as a mature adult this was extremely tough and the thoughts of putting any young person through this is horrific.

So, I would like to clear up a few key points….

No, this is not comparable to a natal vulva / vagina. Not even close.

Its all so easy nowadays. Dont want a penis? Swap it for a vagina. Snip,snip and job done. Hell never mind not wanting a penis do you fancy a change? Get yourself a vagina.

Sorry to disappoint but the only way to have a vagina is to be born with one. Surgery may make an artistic representation of one that yes, may at first glance be passable FOR SOME but its a very far cry from natures design. All the internal anatomy is missing and many external characteristics are too. 

The lie that results of surgery are comparable to natal anatomy is necessary. Its part of the brainwashing that actually men and women arent that different so “swapping” to a different set of genitals is easy.

All too often we see people who claim to have had the surgery (however see below) talk about how fantastic the results are, how indistinguishable it is from the “real thing” and indeed I have seen instances of “trans” claim that the trans “version” is better. Yes, thats right, there are those who claim men can be better than women at having vaginas.

Most who have had this surgery havent.

So many claim to have had the surgery or be about to. Its a lie. For those who have had the surgery and experienced the long road to recovery it is blatantly obvious when we read of the so called surgery transition experiences of others.

When you talk about having sex for the first time a week after surgery? No you didnt. 

At the end of the day there is no way to prove if someone has had the surgery or not. Never let your guard down because someone says they are post op.

I commonly come across two types of “trans” people:

The first is the proud penis owner who has no interest in surgery and is happy to gaslight you into believing that women can have penises. “It’s a lady penis” they say because “I’m a woman!”.

The second type is the “ally”; the one who comes alongside and says “You don’t mean to exclude me, I’m a woman just like you.”. Often they have a well told narrative that tugs on the heart strings. They talk about the surgery they had or are going to be having. In their own head they may or may not believe it but they talk about it often enough!

When I woke up after surgery I was still me. I was still a person born male, conditioned as male and benefitting from being male. I can tell you all sorts about a horrible childhood and my gender identity issues but so what? Having surgery isn’t a personality transplant. A narcissistic entitled misogynist will still be the same no matter what is between their legs. A cosmetic change, no matter how major, does not create a new person.

Judge me for being me, not against a perception linked to anatomy.

Why do we never see “during” pictures and so few after pictures….

Very interesting that the pictures we often see are very well healed surgeries and represent the very best case scenario, sometimes following revision surgery. On a couple of occassions I have known of those using intimate images of natal women to show the results of their “miracle surgery”. A before and after is all very well but it is all to easy to blindly ignore the process. We never hear of complications. We never hear of the pain, swelling, wound discharge, bleeding, smell….. There are many possible complications and I have yet to speak to a fellow post op transsexual who didnt have something go wrong.

For me I experienced several infections but also neoclitoral necrosis. The neoclitoris is created from the tip of the penis and is, as you can imagine, extremely sensitive. For 5 weeks I went through debridement; essentially a “sanding down” of the necrotic tissue done under no anaesthesia. I would come home, take a sedative and cry in bed. As surgery goes I was extremely lucky and had very, very few issues. Some of the complications are truly horrific and some go on to need further surgery.

I say this not for sympathy (and I must add I continue to recover well) but to reinforce my point earlier. This is MAJOR SURGERY, and surgery that has been done on children. Let that sink in.

Surgery is a lifetime committment

Once the testicles are removed a lifetime committment to medication and blood testing is made. The body is no longer capable of producing all the hormones it needs and these must be chemically delivered. This is not an exact science and three monthly blood testing is essential if not sooner. The body is very sensitive to fluctuations in hormone levels.

With these chemical hormones is risk.

An AGP may be aroused by the thought of having a “vagina”. I wonder how they would view seeing themselves in a wheelchair after having had a stroke from feminising hormones?

These hormones for me treat a condition. Yes, they do work, and I’m not going to say they didn’t. As with any medication you weigh up risks and benefits and for me it was an easy decision. The benefits remain to this day but so too do the risks. It concerns me greatly however that for many the benefits are built on lies and when that happens all that is left is risk. You need only speak to a detransitioner to know that the benefits they were sold were just nonsense, the risks were downplayed and now, years later, they are damaged individuals. All risk, no benefit.

Why would you do this to yourself?

There is only one reason for anyone to have this surgery and it is simply this; to not have the surgery is worse.

I could not live with a penis.

When I look down now I dont see myself as a woman because I know I can never be one. What I feel is relief. I feel free to be non conforming and its almost like the surgery gave me permission to be myself. I hope you can understand that statement even though it doesnt necessarily make sense. Psychological issues seldom do make sense!

“No one would ever have surgery and still call themselves a man!”

I hear this statement on a daily basis. For some its said maliciously, with others it seems to be genuine confusion. I don’t call myself a man or identify as a man… I AM a man. I am not saying I want to be, far from it but truth is truth. Acceptance is key in mental health. Because I know I am a man I dont need to be seen as a woman or validated as such.

Final thought….

I’m going to do something here that I feel is necessary to get my message across and something many have expressed curiosity about. I am going to show a post surgery picture of my own. You will need to scroll to see it so if you dont want to, dont scroll! No, this is not me being perverse. Depending on the response I get I may ultimately delete these images but for now we’ll see how it goes.

The surgery I had was an orchiectomy (removal of the testicles), penectomy (removal of the penis) and vulvoplasty (creation of a neovulva). I do not have a neovagina. I saw no benefit in doing so when I have no interest in sex. That is not to say I am not capable of sexual pleasure but the thought of a pocket of skin jammed between my bladder and bowel that is non lubricated, non elastic and non cleaning just didn’t appeal. Bizzarely I have been accused of being a fetishist and a fake trans” for doing so which I find somewhat peculiar!

These pictures says more that I could communicate in words.

It shows the extent of the surgery. It shows what people have done to children.

Be horrified and disgusted. I want you to be. I want you to look at the image and say “What the hell is that?”. I want you to weigh up the raw reality of the picture against modern trans narrative. Is this really a “real” vulva? Does that make someone change sex?

I’m not here to tell anyone how to live their life. I applaud non conformity and very much consider myself gender critical. I want everyone to understand the reality of transition and surgery and to think long and hard before undertaken such a difficult journey, it is my sincere wish that changes in societal attitudes about gender will significantly reduce such surgeries in the future but for now they remain a necessary evil for a rare few.

WARNING. SCROLLING DOWN CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGES OF REASSIGNMENT SURGERY.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

2 weeks post surgery.
Neoclitoral necrosis. Underneath turned black.