I find myself a little troubled this morning by a message I received on Facebook. Having said that I am grateful to have received it and thankful to the person who sent it for their openness.

The comment was essentially that some people were confused by my overshare recently.

Its a very valid point though and one I would like to explore. Writing blog posts like this is as much therapy for me as it is information for the reader!

So….firstly yes, I know I overshare and it is deliberate.

I have blogged before about the fact that transition for me was never a first choice – far from it. Were I able to resolve my issues without transition I would have done so. The truth is I failed to be the man that society expected of me. I could not accept who I was mentally and physically no matter how much I tried. Every day when I load up twitter and see the transcult I want to reach into my screen, grab more than a few people and shake them…”What the hell are you doing?”. People are transitioning all over the place and shouting from the rooftops “look at me”! And they are being met with responses like “oh, how stunning and brave”!

Even when I turn off my computer everywhere I look sees businesses, charities, organisations all bending over backwards to accomodate the transcult either because they have been bullied into doing so or brainwashed into thinking they are being progressive.

It will probably not surprise you to know that on two occasions now on social media I have been censured for “hate speech” against trans people.

I’m so angry.

I’m angry at the watering down of transsexualism as a diagnosis into Gender Dysphoria. I cannot think of any other branch of medicine where a diagnostic label has been so radically altered to allow more people to be brought under it. Every day I hear people talk glibly about being “dysphoric” because of some reference they have seen on a product to “woman” and apparently thats not inclusive. That is not my reality. My reality has on many occasions been a literal life or death struggle with gender identity. To those of us who have attempted suicide we are being used as a tool to manipulate and blackmail women into indulging male fetishes and I resent that. I need to climb the highest building and once again proclaim “What the hell are you doing?”.

To clarify, I do not deny there are those with a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria who do share similar experiences to my own and who hurt. Equally though I have met many with the diagnosis who I have not been able to relate to because they were given the diagnosis as an affirmation for self identification and the root was clearly in fetishistic behaviours.

I’m angry too at the lies that medicine allows people to literally change sex. I’ve seen people brag about how the post op trans vagina is BETTER than a natal vagina. When healed I do accept that in some cases the cosmetic result is impressive but is that always the reality? And where are the pictures 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks post op? This surgery is often portayed as casually as if one were going to the dentist for a filling. This is major surgery. As I have said before I was just under 6 hours in theatre with 108 stitches.

I am more than aware we have men who are quite happy to distribute pictures of their meat and two veg to strangers for sexual gratification. It is, I suppose, unsurprising that people would question why I am willing to share my own post op pics. Am I a pervert? Am I AGP? The answer is simple – people need to see what we are doing to children. I want people to look at these pictures and feel physically ill – just maybe it might stir more people into action. I dont want the only images to be from the transcult marketing brochure. No-one will look at my pics and say “thats nice”…they will look and the reactions so far have been utter disgust. By the way now 9 days post op and I still havent stopped bleeding – this is normal.

As you all know by now I do not drink of the transcult Kool Aid. I know I am a man and that has never been in question and never will be. The fact it revolts me being a man doesn’t change anything. Manipulating society into helping me pretend I’m not a man ultimately benefits noone who is genuinely struggling. At best I need society to accept my gender non conformity and not see me as an object of ridicule.

I do not ask for or indeed want sympathy. My faith brings me great comfort and I am secure in the knowledge that as painful as things have been and are, God is in control. I take great joy from the Bible in James ch. 1 when it says:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I would like to add that I really appreciate everyones support. Please be assured that the reason I call myself “Lonely Transsexual” relates to my feelings of isolation from the new modern ideology and not my personal situation. I am thankful for some wonderful friends and family and for the many visitors I have had over the past few days.

I would really appreciate some feedback on my twitter from you all. Should I share less? Should I share more?

I’m aware that todays blog is a bit of a ramble but I hope you can get my message!