Right lads, it’s time for you and I to have a chat about modern transgender ideology and all this “TERF” business.

I’m no expert but just maybe the fact that I am both a man and a transsexual might give me a little bit of insight into the matter that you’ll listen to. Not to mention I have many feminist (no that’s not a dirty word) friends and I have listened to what they have to say.

  1. Let’s start with the basics. Humans cannot change sex. I don’t know why I need to be saying this one because it should be obvious but apparently not. A man will always be a man, a woman will always be a woman. Oh, I know there is a whole lot of “science” apparently that now says otherwise but its rubbish. There used to be “science” that said black people were of lower intelligence but we all know now that is nonsense. Stop listening to people manipulating facts to get their own way. Stop listening to these “studies” that were done on 3 people down the pub on a Friday night.
  2. Quit with the stereotypes of women. Women are not your slaves or your sex toys. Women are not your housekeepers or your personal assistants. If you have a partner that looks after you cooking, cleaning and washing your clothes then you get down on your knees and you thank her for doing it every day; she doesn’t have to and it’s not her place despite what you may have been brought up to believe.
  3. While we are on the subject of stereotypes, quit stereotyping men too. Not all men drink beer, watch football and burp loudly. Men are still men when they wear makeup, skirts and carry handbags. I’m quite sure some of you reading that are laughing already. Do you know the damage you do to someone when you make fun of them? Do you really want to be that last straw for a person struggling in “being a man” that goes home and commits suicide? You be a man your way, let me be a man mine. If I choose to do it, as I have today, in purple lipstick that is not your place to laugh or judge. These stereotypes destroy lives.
  4. Learn what the transgender umbrella actually is before you blindly support it. A transsexual with gender dysphoria is a very different thing to a drag queen but both are deemed “transgender”. Just because your fellow men support it and women oppose it means nothing. These are not “hysterical women”, “TERFS”, “stupid feminists” or whatever label you choose to give them that allows you to dismiss and dehumanise them. It’s easy to dismiss a “TERF”…. is it so easy to dismiss your mothers, wives, sisters and daughters? Women are right to be concerned by what’s happening and so should you be. Start with my blog post on what being trans actually means nowadays and what Gender Dysphoria is about.
  5. If you think medicalising children as trans is OK you’ve been listening to the wrong people. Do some research and you might just see that it’s not the solution. Saying “NO” is not transphobic; that’s the standard rhetort used to shut down debate. Dare to learn the facts and have these discussions.
  6. Take responsibility for the male sex. I know not all men are violent rapists; women know that too, but some are. Predators don’t go round with a danger sign hung round their neck and many come with the line “you can trust me, I’m a nice guy”. Women can’t afford to make you the exception. Actually take notice of the way women are being treated by men in the most inhuman and revolting ways and tell me they don’t deserve their safe spaces. The sad thing is women have learnt to normalise a certain level of sexual harassment.
  7. Stop pushing “transwomen” into women’s spaces.  I know the majority want to use these spaces but please don’t let the excuse be that they aren’t welcome in their own spaces. If we come into the men’s toilet in lipstick and heels leave us alone; we are there for the same reason as you, not be sexualised, ridiculed or abused.
  8. You and I don’t understand what it means to be women and we need to stop thinking we do. Being transsexual gives me an inkling but it still doesn’t make me a woman; in fact the more I see the more I realise how little I understand. The first time I had a hot flush from Oestrogen I thought I needed an ambulance! What does it feel like to grow up in a society that favours men? What does it feel like to feel constant pressure to have to look and feel a certain way? What does it feel like to be pregnant? What is menopause like?
  9. Women don’t feel the same way you do about sex. Just because you might be “up for it” 24 hours a day doesn’t mean women are. They aren’t “gagging for it”. They wont throw themselves at your feet when they see your meat and two veg. If you think pornography is even close to reality you are seriously delusional. Pornography shows you what you want to see.
  10. Women don’t have subcategories of “cis” and “trans”. Calling a woman a cis-woman makes her a subcategory of her own sex and frankly that its offensive. Women are women; not cis-women.
  11. Quit dissing feminism. This IS a patriarchal society and women have had to fight for every right. Just as bad, stop staying you are a feminist. Feminism is a women’s movement focussed on women; they don’t need men telling them how to be feminists. You can be a feminist ally but you aren’t a feminist,
  12. Stop pretending men don’t have a competitive advantage in sports. Of course we do. Greater muscle mass, larger hearts, greater lung capacity… Yes, hormones do reduce that advantage but they in no way eliminate it. Men competing against women just isn’t fair no matter how you present it.
  13. It’s been decades since homosexuality was legalised. Yet still men have an issue with it. I have lost count of the number of times I have been told “real men aren’t gay”. Trans people aren’t there for you to sexualise so that you can carry on telling yourself you aren’t gay. I’ve had dozens of pictures sent to me from men; only two were ever of a face. If you are gay or bisexual then be gay or bisexual and stop lying to yourself. Stop telling gay men they are lesser men for being gay.
  14. This might come as a shock to some of you. How about listening to women? The fact that you and I don’t understand certain realities doesn’t make them any less real. If women tell you that they feel vulnerable, scared, angry then why won’t you believe it? Just because men like to think they are all macho hard men doesn’t invalidate women’s fears and feelings.

It’s time we stop giving away womanhood to other men. It’s not ours to give. Let’s change what it means to be a man instead!